12 Signs that You’re a Crazy Dog Lady (or Man)

crazy dog lady
Notice how we’ve attempted to block part of the sofa from the dogs. Eventually, you realize once they’ve tasted the luxury of the sofa, there’s no going back to the floor.

Currently, millennials lead the share of pet owners in the United States, with 76% of them owning some sort of pet. Many of these pet owners think of their fur-babies as their actual babies! Coming from an elder, childless millennial, I can’t say I disagree. Realistically, it’s not that hard to go completely overboard when caring for those adorable, doting dogs either! Are you a crazy dog lady (or man)? Let’s find out! Here are some tell-tale signs you might be dog-crazy!

  1. Your Dog’s Food Budget Rivals Your Own

Congratulations for even having a budget for your pet’s nutrition! By simply not trying to get away with a cheap budget when feeding your precious pet, you are very likely prolonging her life. Taking it to the next level, crazy dog lady status means you might spend a couple hundred dollars or more feeding your dog fresh food. This may be a fresh food subscription service like The Farmer’s Dog, or a raw diet, like Darwins. Either way, it’s quite likely you’ve cut out some luxurious purchases in your own life to accommodate for that high-quality pet diet!

2. You’re a Little Obsessed with Your Dog’s Poop

Too soft? Runny? Is it too hard? “Wow, that’s the perfect poop!” These are all thoughts and remarks that come to the crazy dog lady (or man’s) mind during walks or poop clean-up duty. Chances are when the poop’s wrong, you also know what to add to your dog’s diet to make it right. Congratulations! Once you’ve hit poop-inspector status, you have arrived.

3. You Probably Have Treats or Exotic Dried Meats in Your Purse and Pockets

Like most devoted pet parents, I enjoy sharing new chews and treats with my dogs. Often, a trip to the pet food store results in more than one chew or treat purchase, and many of those treats make good content reviews for our social media accounts.

As a steward for our planet, I never take the plastic bag. This results in me putting the dried meats and treats in my purse and often forgetting about them. Nothing like going out to dinner and whipping out a stinky chicken foot when it’s time to pay the bill! That’s extra crazy dog lady status!

4. There’s a Permanent Dog Seat Cover in Your Vehicle

Chances are, if you’re a fellow crazy dog lady, then you like to take your dog with you! When I was working from home during the height of Covid, the dogs were with me all the time. A car ride is like free enrichment and automatically fills your dog’s bucket. Like many, I enjoy keeping my possessions nice and tidy, and appreciate not having dog hair blowing all over in my face every time I open the car windows. Hence, the perma-seat-cover.

5. You Own and USE a Fanny Pack

Dog walkers everywhere are bringing back the once-cringey, dorky, but oh-so-practical fanny pack. I do get that fanny packs have been back in for a couple of years, but who better than to utilize them for their fully-intended purpose than you, the crazy dog lady!

6. You Own at Least One Chest Freezer, and it’s Strictly for Your Dog’s Food

If you make or source your own dog food, then you know the golden real estate that is the freezer. Good deal on chicken livers? Snatch them up! A friend just found you a freshly road-killed deer? You bet! (Don’t judge; I live in Michigan and if it’s possible to to utilize a freshly killed deer, that’s A LOT of meat that isn’t going to waste. Lots of people here do that for themselves and their dogs). Whatever the case is for you and your dogs, if you make your own food or feed raw, freezer space is a must-have!

7. You Can’t Get Rid of that Ugly Chair, Because it’s the Dog’s

There is a chair in my house that’s older than me. That’s saying something. It’s a brown La-Z-Boy that belonged to my brother-in-law’s grandpa. After living in my sister’s home for a short period of time, the chair left with us on the moving truck because I “owed it to her” to get that thing out of her house.

Ever since, it’s been the dog’s chair. Franklin adored it, and I was so heartbroken after his death that I couldn’t get rid of it. I recently tried to send it to the construction project dumpster during a remodel, and was met with, “That’s Wally’s chair!” I guess that chair isn’t leaving anytime soon.

8. Batching or Making Dog Food? No Problem!

If you’ve hit crazy dog lady status, then you’re probably no stranger to making your dog’s food. Once you really get into it, it’s not that difficult. Programs like BalanceIT and Animal Diet Formulator are tools you’re well-versed and competent with because you know that providing your dog with a variety of proteins and an overall balanced diet is of utmost importance.

9. You Throw Birthday Parties for Your Dog

An exciting moment for Walter; his first raw meat cake delight for Tubby’s 12th B-Day

Anytime you can get your dog together with 5-6 of his closest friends is a party! If you haven’t thrown a dog party, or attended some sort of dog party, I would highly recommend it. A dog party is one of the most wholesome, comical, crazy dog lady activities you can take part in. Bonus crazy dog lady points if you prepared a meat cake or homemade treats of some sort!

10. Your Dog Owns Some Sort of Clothing 

Bonus, the clothing has a purpose, like a practical, technical winter coat for our short haired friends! Or you might even just own a closet full of cute themed sweaters for your dog. Better yet, you’ve really hit crazy dog lady status because you and your dog have matching sweaters!

11. Fancy Dress Shoes? WHAT are Those?

You know that when you are a crazy dog lady, daily walks take utmost precedence in your life. Dressy, fancy shoes are not part of your wardrobe or even in your vocabulary. I appreciate seeing all the practical and functional shoes at the dog park. Now we’re talking! New Balances, running shoes, practical walking shoes? Yes, please! The uglier, the better.

12. There are Covers On Your Furniture, Because Nothing is Off Limits These Days

There used to be a time when my dogs weren’t allowed on the furniture. Not anymore, now that I have reached crazy dog lady status. It’s like something in my brain snapped one day, and I thought, these dogs don’t live long enough, I may as well allow them some luxury and comfort while they’re here. Yes, they have their own beds. Yes, they prefer the sofa. Maybe it’s the view outside. Maybe it’s because the sofa is where the people usually sit. I’m not sure, but I do know that my Wally never rests anywhere that isn’t plushly padded.

So, Are You a Crazy Dog Lady?

How many of this list do you score? Do you have any to add to the list? We’d love to hear them in the comments! Above all, embrace that craziness. You’re a crazy dog lady (or man) and that’s a status to proudly enjoy.

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